It's amazing how fast this summer has gone by, like trees lining the highway. I haven't posted anything in a really long time- I should have after VBS at my church, and the unbelievable missions trip I went on to Boston, and when I got home from Cape Cod. But, I didn't, because I was afraid my words couldn't do justice to how changed I feel after those few short weeks. I learned a thousand lessons and ate several slices of humble pie and cried my eyes out a few times (being like, three times as emotional as I used to be is one way I'm different). I'm the same old Laura -the one who gets enraptured by Pride & Prejudice and bites her nails and thinks about working out more than she actually does- except my perspective has changed. I'm better at accepting myself and other people for who we are, which is huge for me. I'm learning to live as a reformed control freak. I learned that "facing fear, trusting God" isn't just a motto for vacation Bible school, it's the way a fraidy-cat like me should be living life. And when my brother beats me to the bathroom and I can't take a shower, I should stop and thank God, because I have a shower and a brother and some people don't have either. And sometimes you don't need a reason to cry, but other times you need to cry over insecurity and sad endings in books and kids with cancer.
As young people, we get the message that we're supposed to have really high expectations for summertime. We're supposed to live with no regrets and say "YOLO" a lot and take candid pictures and have all sorts of adventures before the new school year begins. I know from experience that summer usually isn't all it's cracked up to be because we try too hard to make everything perfect. And, yeah, my summer was far from perfect this time around. But I think that was what made it real. And I'm honored and thankful for all the memories I now have, and the people who were with me on every journey and adventure and new experience. :)
Now, it's almost fall- my all-time favorite time of year. I love the everchanging weather and the colors of nature, a constant reminder that there is a Designer who knows how to display His glory in creation. I love being able to wear sweaters again and getting a fresh start to a new school year (even though I'm totally burnt out by March, but come on, who isn't?). This fall is special, because it's my last one I get to experience at home. Next year, I'll be a college freshman- eighteen years old and out on my own, getting to know the world as much as possible beyond the four walls of a drafty dorm room. The universe of Adulthood is fast approaching, and I'm excited and sad and nervous because I still feel like a socially awkward 12-year-old with a bad haircut. I'm utterly unprepared. It's a funny thing when you talk and dream and worry about something, because once it happens, for all your planning you have no idea what to expect. Yet, for once I am not afraid. I know I'm not alone this time- I have a God who endlessly loves me, a supportive family, and some pretty amazing friends who will cheer me on no matter what. And I'm praying that whatever happens to me over the next year, it will prepare me as best as possible for that Great Perhaps lying just outside of my front door.
--Laura :)
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