Nights Like These

    I swear I'm an extrovert. I just occasionally need a night like this- one where I can be alone and recharge and work through things. I love being out and about on campus, getting overly involved and meeting new people and making memories. It's just that life gets me down sometimes, and I used to think having a night like this was a sign of weakness or laziness. Only now do I realize that this is crucial for my good health.
    Nights like this- ones when I do not speak a word for hours yet sing Mumford and Sons lyrics at the top of my lungs whenever I need to hear a voice. When I can waste away time blasting nostalgic music and scrolling down Tumblr. When I write or cry or do sit-ups to work through my aggression.
    These nights are dimly lit by Christmas lights and laptop screens, accompanied by dark cups of tea and oversized sweaters that hide the body I am so intricately insecure about. I stare at my face in the mirror until it no longer looks like a face, going over my features and changing my expressions until I tire myself out with my critical vanity.
    I spend these nights curled up in my cozy nest of a bed, my hair either in waves all around my shoulders or messily pulled up atop my head. Sometimes I get up and pace, either to work through an issue or get past some writer's block. Sometimes I lie on the floor, and sometimes I swear and yell. Sometimes there just aren't enough words in the world to describe how you feel.
    A night like this is essential, because it is in these seemingly inconsequential hours that I remember who I am. I am able to think and pray and process my day, my issues, my calling- what God has put me here and now to accomplish. I recharge on nights like this, and then next day I awaken stronger, able and eager to deal with the world because I stepped back and took things in stride.
    It's okay to be an introverted extrovert. It's okay to have problems that deserve a great deal of thought. It's okay to spend time alone- in fact, I would venture to say it is essential.

    And since Tumblr is my best friend at the moment, I thought I would finish off this post with the best of my majestic Dashboard:

I haven't been able to take a bath since I came to school and it really bugs me.

I find something alluring in the water droplets on autumn leaves

all at once, everything is different...

<33

I deserve this.

This makes me think of my family.

Ferris Bueller knows his stuff.

my favorite male :)

and, finally, where I want to be. :)

--Laura :)