Small-town superheroes and a couple of really great books

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I already think too much, more than the average human being should- most of my thoughts revolve around myself. I hate being alone with my thoughts, because I get depressed by them; I have to physically lift myself out of whatever lonely corner I've stashed myself away in (usually the beanbag in my room, or my bed) and find someone to talk to. I love interacting with other people, because it makes me happy. What I love most is seeing someone get excited about something- an idea, a hobby, even something that drives them crazy- because when that happens, you get a glimpse of who they really are, and what it is that stirs up a flame in the ashes of their soul (did that make sense? I think it did).
  So I've realized that I think too much, and I'm very self-centered, and I like to start a lot of sentences with the word "so". Is any of that normal? Usually, I think my habits and thought patterns are really abnormal, only to discover that everyone else does the same things I do, and thinks the very same thoughts as me. Which is kind of a letdown, since I wish I was more of an individual, but I figure if we're all the same, at least we're all the same together. :)
  What's been on my mind lately isn't exactly something I could post as a status on Facebook. I've been wondering: am I going to live a meaningful life, and leave even the tiniest of impacts in this world? Or am I going to die someday -only God knows when- and have a thousand regrets playing back in my head as I draw my final breath? It's been said you regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you do. I am relatively young, but I can definitely attest to that. My biggest fear is of the future: of not being where I want to be in ten years because I gave up. Of never doing. I want to do things with my life- and this isn't about being famous, or having lots of power, or taking over the universe. I want to help people, and give back -in my community as well as the rest of the world- using the talents God has given me. And I want to get started now. But there are a lot of things in my way, most of them having to do with myself: I'm still (technically) a young girl. I have little to no power, or faith in myself. I don't have the resources or the support or good enough ideas for anyone to take me seriously. And I get easily distracted (as you can probably tell, I have an affinity for rabbit-trailing) which is why I'm still on square one. 
I've felt like this for a loooong time, but since the beginning of the year it's been occupying my thoughts more and more. Probably because I've been reading two very amazing books, the first of which being The Fault In Our Stars by the highly inspirational (and hilarious. Seriously. Look him up on YouTube) John Green. It's this heartbreaking, yet thought-provoking novel about two teenagers with cancer who wonder how they will be remembered after they both die. There's much more to the story than that, but if you're one of those people who loves happy romance novels where everything gets tied up in a nice bow at the end, you probably wouldn't like it (but you should still read it, because it was phenomenal, and, in my humble opinion, slightly more realistic than your typical happily-ever-after fairy tale). It got me thinking: everyone remembers Albert Einstein, because he was great and did great things...but will anyone remember me, long after I die? It also made me realize, conversely, that I don't have to be remembered by everyone everywhere. As long as the people I love the very most, or those whose lives I (hopefully) impact someday remember me, then does it really matter what the rest of the world thinks of me? No. As long as I do what God put me here on earth to do -to love and serve others well- then I need not be remembered by droves of people.
  Which brings me to the second book, which I am currently reading: The Hole In Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns. And it's HUGE, in both the physical sense and the topical. It's about what the Gospel is really asking of us as Christians- to go into the world and live out the message of Christ by loving others and serving them. This book has made me think differently. Like, completely reshaped my ideas about college and the future. And while it has changed my ideas about down the road, I want it to change what I'm doing right now. And it has, somewhat...but like I said earlier, I'm still on square one because I create a lot of the obstacles in between who I am now and who I want to be. So, if you're still reading this (because this was a reeeeally long post, but I regret nothing) I want you to know that I really appreciate your interest in my somewhat boring and unoriginal life. And if you feel as I do about wanting to change the world, then let's collaborate with some ideas. Let's support and pray for each other and be small-town superheroes (like the Avengers! Actually, not really at all like the Avengers. I just really like the Avengers, okay? Again, I regret nothing) and maybe someday, we can look back on our lives and say we did not just survive, but we lived, and made someone else's life a little easier. Okay?
  I have to go now. But I couldn't be done without showing y'all this picture, because it has to do with my interest in the Avengers. Plus, it's really funny, because it has to do with cats. Don't judge me ;)

--Laura :)
 

The Blizzard That Did Not Vanquish Me

Hello! If you are reading this, I presume that means either a) you survived the snow apocalypse of 2013, or b) you are from some distant, possibly tropical corner of the world. If the former is true, then congratulations! You and I can officially join the ranks of the survivors who weathered through this storm. If the latter is true, then I envy you deeply...and wonder what the heck you're doing reading some random teenage girl's blog...
  But anyway. The blizzard Charlotte. The storm that wreaked havoc everywhere around me, giving me yet another reason why I intend on moving as far South as possible after college. Even now, as I look out the window, I am bewildered and blinded by the snowdrifts piled precariously on either side of our driveway...most of them are taller than me (which isn't really saying much, but still). I have never, in my seventeen years of existence, seen so much snow fall at once. I am overwhelmed and in awe at the same time: overwhelmed by the massive amounts of snow that won't melt for who knows how long, and in awe of the strange and powerful God who put it all here. Does that ever happen to you? You see some huge and scary act of nature, and all you can think or say is "Wow."? 
  That is exactly how I feel right now. I feel wowed. Okay, so this freak snowstorm blows in and dumps almost three feet of snow on me, knocking out our power for 24 hours and ruining my weekend plans. And I had to shovel (ugh) and spend an evening in the dark with my family, most of whom were going through internet withdrawal. And my dad got upset because nobody wanted to cook a 4-course dinner over the fireplace, like he did when he was a mountain man growing up in Vermont. But you know what? It was enchanting to watch the world outside my bedroom window undergo such fierce change over the course of the last 2 days. And I got to spend some quality time with my family, playing board games by candlelight and reminiscing about our long gone childhood days. And I felt strangely safe, huddled under blankets in the living room and listening to the wind howl around the corners of the house. 
  This morning I was outside shoveling (again). The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. And if you closed your eyes and really tried to focus, it almost felt like spring. Then my neighbors snapped and plowed our street out enough for the power trucks to get through and restore our electricity, and we all lived happily ever after.
  I wanted to conclude this post with pictures of what I miss most right now. I hope all of you are safe and warm and out of the way of the weather, and that y'all have a great week.
WHAT I MISS MOST: grass

 

 I mean just look at it. Isn't it beautiful?

this is where I want to be.
--Laura :)