Small-town superheroes and a couple of really great books

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I already think too much, more than the average human being should- most of my thoughts revolve around myself. I hate being alone with my thoughts, because I get depressed by them; I have to physically lift myself out of whatever lonely corner I've stashed myself away in (usually the beanbag in my room, or my bed) and find someone to talk to. I love interacting with other people, because it makes me happy. What I love most is seeing someone get excited about something- an idea, a hobby, even something that drives them crazy- because when that happens, you get a glimpse of who they really are, and what it is that stirs up a flame in the ashes of their soul (did that make sense? I think it did).
  So I've realized that I think too much, and I'm very self-centered, and I like to start a lot of sentences with the word "so". Is any of that normal? Usually, I think my habits and thought patterns are really abnormal, only to discover that everyone else does the same things I do, and thinks the very same thoughts as me. Which is kind of a letdown, since I wish I was more of an individual, but I figure if we're all the same, at least we're all the same together. :)
  What's been on my mind lately isn't exactly something I could post as a status on Facebook. I've been wondering: am I going to live a meaningful life, and leave even the tiniest of impacts in this world? Or am I going to die someday -only God knows when- and have a thousand regrets playing back in my head as I draw my final breath? It's been said you regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you do. I am relatively young, but I can definitely attest to that. My biggest fear is of the future: of not being where I want to be in ten years because I gave up. Of never doing. I want to do things with my life- and this isn't about being famous, or having lots of power, or taking over the universe. I want to help people, and give back -in my community as well as the rest of the world- using the talents God has given me. And I want to get started now. But there are a lot of things in my way, most of them having to do with myself: I'm still (technically) a young girl. I have little to no power, or faith in myself. I don't have the resources or the support or good enough ideas for anyone to take me seriously. And I get easily distracted (as you can probably tell, I have an affinity for rabbit-trailing) which is why I'm still on square one. 
I've felt like this for a loooong time, but since the beginning of the year it's been occupying my thoughts more and more. Probably because I've been reading two very amazing books, the first of which being The Fault In Our Stars by the highly inspirational (and hilarious. Seriously. Look him up on YouTube) John Green. It's this heartbreaking, yet thought-provoking novel about two teenagers with cancer who wonder how they will be remembered after they both die. There's much more to the story than that, but if you're one of those people who loves happy romance novels where everything gets tied up in a nice bow at the end, you probably wouldn't like it (but you should still read it, because it was phenomenal, and, in my humble opinion, slightly more realistic than your typical happily-ever-after fairy tale). It got me thinking: everyone remembers Albert Einstein, because he was great and did great things...but will anyone remember me, long after I die? It also made me realize, conversely, that I don't have to be remembered by everyone everywhere. As long as the people I love the very most, or those whose lives I (hopefully) impact someday remember me, then does it really matter what the rest of the world thinks of me? No. As long as I do what God put me here on earth to do -to love and serve others well- then I need not be remembered by droves of people.
  Which brings me to the second book, which I am currently reading: The Hole In Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns. And it's HUGE, in both the physical sense and the topical. It's about what the Gospel is really asking of us as Christians- to go into the world and live out the message of Christ by loving others and serving them. This book has made me think differently. Like, completely reshaped my ideas about college and the future. And while it has changed my ideas about down the road, I want it to change what I'm doing right now. And it has, somewhat...but like I said earlier, I'm still on square one because I create a lot of the obstacles in between who I am now and who I want to be. So, if you're still reading this (because this was a reeeeally long post, but I regret nothing) I want you to know that I really appreciate your interest in my somewhat boring and unoriginal life. And if you feel as I do about wanting to change the world, then let's collaborate with some ideas. Let's support and pray for each other and be small-town superheroes (like the Avengers! Actually, not really at all like the Avengers. I just really like the Avengers, okay? Again, I regret nothing) and maybe someday, we can look back on our lives and say we did not just survive, but we lived, and made someone else's life a little easier. Okay?
  I have to go now. But I couldn't be done without showing y'all this picture, because it has to do with my interest in the Avengers. Plus, it's really funny, because it has to do with cats. Don't judge me ;)

--Laura :)
 

The Blizzard That Did Not Vanquish Me

Hello! If you are reading this, I presume that means either a) you survived the snow apocalypse of 2013, or b) you are from some distant, possibly tropical corner of the world. If the former is true, then congratulations! You and I can officially join the ranks of the survivors who weathered through this storm. If the latter is true, then I envy you deeply...and wonder what the heck you're doing reading some random teenage girl's blog...
  But anyway. The blizzard Charlotte. The storm that wreaked havoc everywhere around me, giving me yet another reason why I intend on moving as far South as possible after college. Even now, as I look out the window, I am bewildered and blinded by the snowdrifts piled precariously on either side of our driveway...most of them are taller than me (which isn't really saying much, but still). I have never, in my seventeen years of existence, seen so much snow fall at once. I am overwhelmed and in awe at the same time: overwhelmed by the massive amounts of snow that won't melt for who knows how long, and in awe of the strange and powerful God who put it all here. Does that ever happen to you? You see some huge and scary act of nature, and all you can think or say is "Wow."? 
  That is exactly how I feel right now. I feel wowed. Okay, so this freak snowstorm blows in and dumps almost three feet of snow on me, knocking out our power for 24 hours and ruining my weekend plans. And I had to shovel (ugh) and spend an evening in the dark with my family, most of whom were going through internet withdrawal. And my dad got upset because nobody wanted to cook a 4-course dinner over the fireplace, like he did when he was a mountain man growing up in Vermont. But you know what? It was enchanting to watch the world outside my bedroom window undergo such fierce change over the course of the last 2 days. And I got to spend some quality time with my family, playing board games by candlelight and reminiscing about our long gone childhood days. And I felt strangely safe, huddled under blankets in the living room and listening to the wind howl around the corners of the house. 
  This morning I was outside shoveling (again). The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. And if you closed your eyes and really tried to focus, it almost felt like spring. Then my neighbors snapped and plowed our street out enough for the power trucks to get through and restore our electricity, and we all lived happily ever after.
  I wanted to conclude this post with pictures of what I miss most right now. I hope all of you are safe and warm and out of the way of the weather, and that y'all have a great week.
WHAT I MISS MOST: grass

 

 I mean just look at it. Isn't it beautiful?

this is where I want to be.
--Laura :)

In honor of January...

I decided to start this post off by saying that I had absolutely no idea how to start off this post. I've never been any good at introductions. I like to just dive into things and skip the monotony of a beginning because usually, when I get bored with something early on, I don't finish it. I love people I can just talk or text to without having to go through the motions of "hi" "hey" "how are you?" "I'm good, how are you?". I like being able to talk to someone and just pick up right where we left off. There need to be more people like that in the world, I think.
  Anyway, I wanted to dedicate this post to the month of January, because usually January kind of sucks, but it didn't for me this year. For as long as I can remember, this cold and bitter month of my birth has been snowy, boring, and a bit of a letdown (I don't care what people with December birthdays say. The chagrin of their birth month sort of carries on into the next). Yet surprisingly, January 2013 was pretty great. And it wasn't just because of things that happened to me -because believe me, some pretty bad stuff went on too- but also because of the ways I handled them, good and bad. I resolved at the end of last year that I would do my best to stop feeling sorry for myself and try to be less of a Debby Downer. I figured a new year was a prime opportunity for some change, a chance to start over (which is ironic, since I just went on about how I hate beginnings). And you know what? Despite some bad days, and a couple of tough goodbyes, I'd say this year has been off to a pretty great start. I turned seventeen and went on some whimsical adventures with friends of mine. I danced like a crazy lady and even got to check a couple of things off my bucket list. Overall, I've discovered that when you approach life with a positive attitude, and focus less on yourself and more on loving other people, it really alters your perspective. It changes you, which is big for a girl who doesn't do too well with change. I can honestly say that I'm not afraid of whatever else this year throws at me, and I hope that whatever I do brings glory to God.
  Well, I'm done for now. But I wanted to leave you with some words of wisdom:
1. Read Colossians 3:12-17. It's pretty great :)
2. Dance like nobody's watching
3. Listen to more Mumford and Sons. Here are some lyrics from their song "Winter Winds" that I just love:

 Until next time!!
--Laura:)
  

Hello world.

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hello people of earth, and welcome to my blog.

  I have wanted to start something like this for a very long time, but so many things kept getting in the way. Mostly, my own fears that no one would ever read this, and if they did they would hate it and hate me. But I have come to realize that none of that matters, and I shouldn't let what other people think run my life. So, if you are reading this, I hope you understand that this is my blog, therefore most of what I write about will be about me and my life.
  I've finally decided to start this because I really need to express my own thoughts. I have a lot of them, and if I keep them bottled up inside I'm sure I'll burst. I like to write, and I figure writing about what I know best -my own life- will help chase away the sadness that has been dogging me lately.
  So. Since this is my first post I guess I'll tell you about myself, who I am and what I like and don't like.
  Firstly, I love Jesus. I love Him and everything He has done, for me and for other people. I am an undeserving sinner, caught up in the indescribable grace of God, and for that I am eternally grateful.
  Secondly, I am a flawed human being. I say that a lot to remind myself that I can never be perfect, which is hard for me to accept because I am a huge perfectionist/people pleaser. There are so many things I want to do but haven't done yet out of fear that I'll screw them up. Also, I overthink everything, thus creating problems that don't exist. I get lonely really easily and I have a hard time seeing beyond my own so-called problems.
  I'd also like to say that I have a very sarcastic -and hilarious, if I do say so myself- sense of humor. I love adventure, and someday I am going to travel the world and see all the places I've fallen in love with through photographs. I drink too much coffee and I'm really bad at motivating myself to workout. I love music, especially songs with lyrics that really speak to my soul. Currently I listen to a lot of Mumford and Sons, Ed Sheeran, Tenth Avenue North, and lots of others that would take me far too long to list. I love my wonderful -although slightly insane- friends, who have stuck with me no matter what. I honestly don't know where I would be today without them.
  So this is me. I have many hopes and dreams, but for right now I'm stuck here, trying to figure out who I really am and what God's plan is for my life. Since this post is a bit long, I think I'll end it now. And if you've actually read this whole thing, I hope you stick around until next time.
Bye for now,
--Laura